What is a hand-hug? It’s a handy request when physical closeness feels uncomfortable.
When I was asked to present my Life Story at New Life Portugal, I felt honored and a little bit anxious. When you are invited to share your life story in front of others, it is a chance to reflect on your life and see it reflected in the eyes of others. It can be daunting but also very freeing.
For me, it was an energising experience and I felt seen, heard and understood by my friends who were present and also the other community members.
After each life story, there is an invitation for others to ask questions after the talk and also individually greet the teller of the life story after the talk is over. The teller is asked how they would like the Q&A and after-talk session to be. We want to make sure that they are open to hugs during this time. Having attended many life stories of others, I knew that the hugging line-up at the end is sweet and an acknowledgement of how your story affected others. However, I was always a bit shy and empathetic towards the teller who had to stand and receive hugs from everyone – friend or stranger alike.
I decided that I didn’t want to be in that position and chose to receive hand hugs instead. I had seen this demonstrated somewhere and thought that it would be appropriate for this situation. There were about 20 to 25 people in attendance that day, for which I was grateful. One of my fears was: what if no one showed up to hear my life story 😀
Marina, my fellow counsellor friend, introduced me and the format for the event. I had explained the request for a hand hug to her and when she came to describe the hand hug, we gave a demo to the audience which brought some smiles from everyone. The way Jimmy Fallon demonstrated it in the image above 🙂
To demonstrate the hand-hug, we both joined our right palm against the other’s and then closed the thumbs over the other’s palm. That’s it! That’s a hand-hug! It conveys the affection but also respects the need to space and personal distance. I think it’s a really good alternative to a hug and everyone needs to know about it.
So what do think? Go on, use the hand-hug next time you find yourself in the position where you are overwhelmed or uncomfortable at the prospect of hugging someone or a group of people. Leave me a comment if you have ever tried it before or want to!