Staying in pure experience can seem boring when we are stuck in our heads and thinking incessantly. It is impossible to imagine that being present in the moment can be nourishing and fulfilling. Why is that? To the thinking mind, the idea of stopping and letting the thoughts pass by, feels like the most banal thing to do. Additionally, when we stop thinking and sit still for a bit, our unprocessed experiences rise up into consciousness and we fear we may feel uncomfortable or intense emotions.
When we default to jumping from idea to idea, feeling to feeling, emotion to emotion, we expend a lot of mental energy and it also tires the mind, eventually. This is because when we are not mindful, we are unconsciously resisting what we don’t like in our present moment experience.
For this reason, meditation teachers always start off by teaching students to slow down thoughts and come to a place of rest. Staying present to life experience as it unfolds is a restful stance. We don’t burn mental energy and we can sustain our alertness. When we don’t react to every sensation, thought or feeling, we can understand the reality of impermanence and the futility of trying to resist what is.
This does not mean we stay frozen. When necessary, we mindfully dip into the flow of thoughts and take action accordingly. Our thoughts, when received with mindful intention can bring us much creativity, excitement and fulfillment. However, this takes time and requires some training of the mind just like going to the gym to train the muscles of the body.
I have been practicing mindfulness and meditation for more than two decades now. This does not mean that I do not get lost in thoughts or react to sensations and emotions anymore. My experience is that as I become more and more aware of my pure experience, I am able to let go of the default of getting lost and anticipate the aliveness and joy that comes from being present. This makes me motivated to sit and meditate. I look forward to my time on the cushion or mat. Even when I am not actively meditating, I can bring awareness to my breath and slow down my thoughts and watch what is happening inside my system.
My mindfulness training has become more insightful since I started working with IFS for myself and my clients. With IFS, I don’t just watch my thoughts and feelings in meditation, I set an intention at the outset to meet them with curiosity, compassion and connection. And when I successfully meet them that way, my inner world feels elated at being given the attention it has always craved for. My own affection towards my hurts and wounds is the thing that is most healing. And this healing is not temporary because it doesn’t end with affection. I am able to give the wounded feelings another chance to experience what happened but this time with my wise presence. I am able to provide what was not provided in the initial situation. This corrective do-over helps the wounds to heal and the system to regulate and integrate.
When I notice the changes in my body and behaviour after doing a Self session, I am motivated to invest more time again. And so the thinking mind is slowly convinced that it is in our best interest to stay in the present moment.
If you are curious and would like to explore working with me, do get in touch at bringyaself@gmail.com